What “I Don’t Know” Really Means

Throughout my years as an academic coach, I have heard the response “I don’t know” to so many of my questions. What is the square root of 64? “I don’t know.” What is an example of figurative language? “I don’t know.” What did you learn in class today? “I don’t know.”

But what does a student mean when they say “I don’t know.” Sometimes, yes, your student really doesn’t understand what is happening at all; I don’t want to mitigate the fact that being confused can be very overwhelming. Once you are lost in a class, it can be difficult to refocus and know what kinds of questions to ask to better understand and learn.

When working with students, I will often explore this answer of “I don’t know” further. When asking specifics about what they don’t know, they will respond with “everything.” But the reality is that they probably know ​something. ​It’s our job as academic coaches to figure out the aspects they know, the elements they need clarity about, then to help them learn strategies to figure out what they don’t know. This makes all the difference when trying to discover what they really mean by “I don’t know.”

Here are some of the most popular meanings of this common phrase:

“I don’t know” = “I don’t have the energy to think about this right now and I am feeling overwhelmed.”

When a student is overwhelmed, sometimes it is hard for them to identify what they remember about a certain topic or question. They will often respond in a way that is more reserved because they really don’t know how to answer your question. Instead of listening to your whole question, chances are that they zoned out about 2-seconds in and they are just waiting for you to give them the answer. But if you choose to wait to give them the answer, you have a chance to work through their emotions about the subject and pause to identify why they are feeling overwhelmed. Every student is different, but I’ve found it important to listen to how the student is feeling first. Then, I have direction as to how to best help them. Are they overwhelmed because they don’t understand the information? Or is it because they are behind in the course and they don’t know how to catch up? Figuring out what is going on with your student will help you provide them with the right tools to bring into the classroom and to use on their homework. Next, I will typically break down the original question I asked in parts to figure out which pieces they know and what they really have no context for whatsoever. From there, academic coaches can ask the question in different ways or provide specific examples to the lesson in order to provide clearer and direct support.

“I don’t know” = “I’m confused about your question.”

As we just explored, “I don’t know” could be a result of being overwhelmed, but it could also simply be confusion. Sometimes, students don’t know the vocabulary you are using in your question. Other times, it can be the way that the question was phrased. Breaking down the question into parts can be a great next step to figure out what they understand. Or, you can ask if they understand a specific term in your question to clarify what you are asking. Simply asking what the question is asking or if they can reword it can help a student in the learning process, instead of assuming that they don’t know anything.

“I don’t know” could mean: “I don’t understand this part of the lesson.”

This response is the most common when students feel confused about a particular part of the lesson and they will state that they simply don’t know the entire section. However, students will normally know how to do some parts of the lesson, but will either be confused on how to apply the content, specific components, or steps of the particular problem. For example, if a student is struggling with graphing a line, they might not know that y=mx+b is slope-intercept form because they haven’t memorized it yet, but they know how to find the y-intercept and the slope. Identifying where their confusion lies is an important aspect of coaching -- this student needs to be taught what slope-intercept form means and really understand this equation. Once they have a stronger foundation, they can confidently apply the rest of their knowledge to graphing a line. They were probably hesitant to share what they knew because they did not completely understand the first step. Therefore, it is important to break down the information into steps in order to clearly explore each aspect of the lesson and empower students with clarity on concepts they are struggling with and celebrating the knowledge they already possess.

“I don’t know” might mean: “I’m really tired and I don’t want to deal with this right now.”

I work with a lot of teenagers and being a highschool student can become pretty demanding. Between rigorous sports schedules, difficult coursework, standardized testing preparation, friends, and family; a student’s schedule can become a little exhausting. Sometimes, a student saying “I don’t know” can be their way of expressing that they have had a long week and are struggling to pay attention. Earlier this week, I asked one of my students a question and she responded that she didn’t know. I looked at her and asked if everything was okay. She looked at me and started to share that she was really tired from the week and feeling overwhelmed. We took a moment to just pause and let her take a quick break. I then asked her the question again and she gave the correct answer. In that moment, the student needed to be heard past those three words -- she needed to be seen and recognize that it is okay to be tired, but that she could push through and do the work well.

These are just a few of the most common iterations of “I don’t know.” Students won’t always open up right away, but normally, students know something. The trick is that it isn’t the same for any two students. Each student comes to their session with their own set of experiences, struggles, goals, and passions -- all of this needs to be taken into consideration when you hear the most popular phrase of academic coaching. In the end, the goal is to uniquely celebrate what they know and equip them with strategies to discover what they don’t.